I Just Need Some Time
by Mega T22
Summary: Spike is finally legal! Now that he's in the age-range, he'll make sure that Rarity knows just how he feels for good! Will she reciprocate the feelings, or will he have his heart crushed? DISCLAIMER: M-Rated for suggestively-violent themes, vulgar/offensive langauge, hints at self-harm/suicide. Photo Credits to "BlackGryph0n" on DeviantArt


It was the day after the young drake's birthday, and he woke up ecstatically. He was finally of legal age! He never quite grew into the majestic dragon he wanted to be; he had no wings, was still fairly small, at about 4 feet tall exactly, and didn't make much progress in growth overall. Apparently, dragons wouldn't hit their growth-spurt until about 100 years of age, nearly 10% of his lifespan. Though, by legal terms, he was fully mature. Although the drinking last night had him wake up with a nasty hangover, he couldn't help but be chirpy and in a generally very good mood.

The young dragon looked around his messy house; these were one of the downsides of living alone. He was now forced to clean his own messes alone. Although, Twilight usually would sic the cleaning responsibility on him, so this wasn't really anything new. He never did mind that though, she did have a destiny as a Princess after all, so it makes sense that she was too busy for such trivial matters. His eyes hit the large liquor collection that Applejack brought him as a gift for now being legal. Much of it was apple-themed, but as per Rarity's request, there were also other flavors, kinds, and brands there. He'd have enough to last him for weeks! Not that he planned to use it; being drunk was a horrible feeling, in his opinion.

His attention turned back to the mess. "I'll clean it later." The dragon thought. The exciting day ahead of him was too much to wait for. He had it planned for months!

"It's gonna be perfect!" he thought, opening a drawer in his kitchen. He pulled out the contents of the drawer and laid them out upon the simple table in the middle of the room. Among it was: a heart-shaped box of artificial chocolates and a cute small little teddy bear holding a heart-shaped card, as well as a folded red bag. He made sure the chocolates were artificial, as he knew that actual natural chocolate was deadly for the ponies.

He took the contents and put them in the now unfolded large red bag that had Rarity's name fancily and eloquently written on its front. He placed the red bag on the table alongside a carefully-nourished and flourishing bouquet of blue violets, the same color as Rarity's mane.

"I hope she likes it!" Spike said out-loud, clasping his hands together as he felt his heart flutter at the thought of the beautiful mare. He heard his cell-phone ring, and fished into his pocket for it.

Flicking it open, the caller-ID read "Twilight". He smiled, pressing the green button as he held the device to his ear.

"Yo!" Spike chirped, innocent as ever.

"Hey Spike!" Twilight greeted, her voice slightly groggy; presumed by Spike to be a result of his crazy birthday party last night.

"Last night was crazy, huh?" Twilight said, with a chuckle. "You drink enough water? Hangover treating you well?" Twilight asked.

"Yep! Nothing could ruin today anyhow, you know what's up." Spike said, giddiness on his voice.

Twilight laughed in response. "I sure do. Aren't you at least gonna have some breakfast before you go? Unless you already ate?" Twilight queried. It was quite early in the morning, after all.

"Right, right, you reminded me! Rarity left me some of her finest gems last night. I think I'll have those and then leave." Spike said, licking his lips at the thought of the crunchy gems.

"Alright, Spikester meister! Tell me how it goes when you get back huh? Hope today's your lucky day buddy." Twilight said. "Talk to ya later." She finished.

"I hope so too. Talk to you later, Twilight, and thanks." Spike said, before hearing a click. He put away his phone and went to his kitchen counter, where there was a gift-wrapped bowl laying on the counter. He took the somewhat heavy bowl and placed it on the table, pulling up a chair.

"Oh, it's heavy! That means they're dense! Those ones taste the best! Thanks Rarity!" he thought, licking his lips as he unwrapped the bowl, seeing the shining gems.

As he crunched on the thick, dense gems, he thought… What would Rarity say in response to him seriously asking her out? He had subtly hinted at it before, many times in fact. However, Rarity would most times simply brush it off with some friendly remark. The one time he did actually try for real, she nervously brought up age difference and other excuses, but now that he was legal, age gap wouldn't make a difference.

"This time will be different!" Spike thought determinedly, as he picked up a nice, shiny, vibrant ruby, and chewed it, the crunches sounding out within the room.

"But what if she turns me down? What if this ruins our friendship?" Spike thought, picking up a dull, not-so-vibrant, and depressing-vibe purple amethyst. He ate it, chewing it slowly.

He shook his head. It had been years, – years – that he waited for this! He wanted to seal the deal before anybody else got to her. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he got taken from her and he was never able to seriously confess yet. Whatever answer he got, he would be content with… he hoped. He was sure that she knew what his true feelings about her were already, but he wanted her to be absolutely sure. This would be the day she'd have the confirmation!

Other thoughts of Rarity now flowed into his head.

That luscious mane; he wished that someday he could just lay in bed, running his fingers through the silky, fine, beautiful strands of hair…

Those perfect lips; gosh, how he'd wished he could kiss her! There were too many times where he found himself staring at those wonderful, naturally glossy lips. Spike's heart thumped faster, just thinking of what they'd feel like against his own lips…

And then, the area where her cutie mark resided; he'd found himself staring there a lot more lately, probably due to his newfound knowledge of sexual interaction and the fact that he's never had any sexual experience himself. The drake was curious. Oh, he hated watching her go, but loved to watch her leave! The way it swished this way and that…!

Spike shook his head, and scolded himself for being a pervert. He picked up the final gem, a brilliant yellow garnet, and ate it, quickly downing the gem.

"Ah, thanks again, Rarity." He mused, patting his stomach. He picked up the bouquet of flowers, as well as the red bag. He slung his hand over his shoulder, the red bag hanging over his back, the 'Rarity' eloquently etched onto it, being clear for all to see.

"Today's the day! Even if she says no, at least she'll be guaranteed to know how I _really_ feel." Spike said out-loud, as he put his hand on the doorknob and walked out of his small house.

* * *

[ _5 minutes later…_ ]

Spike was walking happily down the streets of Ponyville. He was eager to finally get this out of the way. He had waited so long to confess. Unbeknownst to him, Rainbow-Dash was clearing the skies ahead.

She looked down at the dragon and noticed the flowers and red bag, as well as the direction he was headed. What sealed her suspicions was Rarity's name being written on the bag. She zoomed down to greet Spike.

"Yo, Spike, what's up man?" Rainbow-Dash asked, flying beside him as he walked.

"Oh, hey Rainbow-Dash. Nothing much, just y'know… Doing dragon stuff." Spike chuckled, walking on.

"Oh really? Does dragon stuff include getting all romanced up for Rarity?" Rainbow-Dash asked, with a knowing smirk.

"Wait what? How…?" Spike questioned, his brow raised. Rainbow-Dash laughed.

"Dude, c'mon, it's obvious. That's like the only person you'd do something this romantic for. Oh, and your bag has her name written all over it." Rainbow-Dash said, pointing her hoof to his back.

He blushed. "Oh, that wasn't supposed to be on that side, hehe…" Spike chuckled sheepishly, turning the bag to the other side, so that Rarity's name was now hidden against his back.

Rainbow-Dash suddenly grew a serious face. "Hey man, listen." Rainbow-Dash said, arousing Spike's attention.

"Hm?" Spike asked.

"I uh… Gosh, how do I say it…?" Rainbow-Dash pondered out-loud, rubbing her head.

"I'm… not really…" Rainbow-Dash mumbled quietly, the last part being inaudible.

"I'm sorry, what?" Spike asked.

"I said… I'm… not really sure you should… AskRarityOut!" Rainbow-Dash said quickly, instinctively covering her mouth as she said it.

Spike looked up at her with an appalled face. "What makes you say that?" he asked, his voice cracking a bit from the surprise of the statement.

"Look man, I just really don't think it's gonna turn out well." Rainbow-Dash said, sheepishly rubbing the back of her neck.

"Why?" Spike asked.

"I dunno; she might turn you down?" Rainbow-Dash half-asked, half-said.

"Doesn't matter, I still want to ask her." Spike said, walking on, undeterred.

"She might not be into interracial relationships?" Rainbow-Dash suggested.

"So what? It doesn't hurt to ask!" Spike said, getting a bit bitter and hurt at Rainbow-Dash's comments.

"What if she's already seeing somebody?" Rainbow-Dash said, as the thought hit Spike.

Angrily, he swatted away at Rainbow-Dash, as she backed away.

"Look, Dashie, I like you okay? So please, before I say something I regret, stop trying to rain on my parade and let me do this!" Spike said angrily. Rainbow-Dash sighed heavily.

She looked down at Spike with a solemn and serious look, a hint of sadness on her expression.

"Look man, I know this is the last person you'd expect to hear this from, but I just don't want you to get hurt. I didn't want to down your spirits, it's just that… Oh, forget it. Look man, here:" she began, landing on the ground and trotting up to the dragon. She put her hoof on his chest, and bowed her head, closing her eyes.

"Have that. It's my hope that this goes well for you man. Good luck little buddy, I'm sure you'd make a great partner…" Rainbow-Dash said, stepping away from him. In an instant, she blasted away from their position. Spike was confused at her choice of vocabulary just then.

"Thanks?" Spike said, feeling slightly bitter at the event that just transpired. He shook the negative thoughts and outcomes from his mind, and continued to Rarity's boutique, which was now within view down the road.

He nervously approached her door. Each step he took, the more nervous he felt, and the more jelly-like his legs became.

As he finally stepped onto her doorstep, hand raised to knock on her door, he froze. He was so nervous that he could feel the sweat roll down his skin and his sweaty palms.

He must've stood there, contemplating different options and lines at least 10 different times for about 5 minutes before he finally knocked on the door. He stepped back slightly, and held the flowers and bag in his hand to show her.

"Coming!" Rarity sang, as he heard her trot through the building. He heard the door click and swing open, seeing the beautiful mare behind the door.

A huge red blush covered the drake's entire face, as nervousness crept upon him at every moment Rarity looked at him.

"Oh, Spike! What a pleasant surprise! How was your birthday?" she asked, eyeing the accessories he held and his flustered appearance.

"O-oh, it was great… But I have s-something else to tell you Rarity. U-um…" Spike began, holding up the flowers.

"F-f-firstly, I got th-these for you…" Spike said nervously, as Rarity took the flowers up with her magic and put them inside somewhere. She eyed Spike knowingly, knowing what was coming, and inwardly sighed heavily. Luckily for her, this could be done properly, as _he_ was currently asleep. Of all days, he had to choose today to spend the night though; this could've been dangerous!

"I… Well Rarity, you see, for a while…" he began nervously twiddling his hands, still holding the bag. He couldn't hold back the nervous, yet hoping smile on his face.

"For a while, I've had the biggest cru-" Spike began, but was interrupted by a voice within.

"Honey?" the male voice groggily began. Rarity's face went pale, as spikes erupted all over her body. "Who's at the door…?" he asked, voice low and groggy.

"Spike, I'm so sorry, but this isn't the time for this, trust me!" Rarity whispered frantically, as she trotted in place nervously.

"N-nobody, dear!" Rarity called out. She looked at Spike again. "You have to leave, now!" Rarity whispered harshly.

"Honey? Dear? Rarity, is there something I should know here?" Spike asked, his smile faltering, extremely confused. He felt his heart thump, remembering what Rainbow-Dash suggested, but refused to believe it. He was almost sure the boutique wasn't normally open during these hours as well, so there shouldn't be anyone over.

"N-not at all, Spikey-wikey! Why would you say that?!" she spoke lowly, feigning a huge, toothy smile, her eyes darting nervously behind her, within the building.

Spike's smile completely dropped when he saw a hazel-colored stallion walk beside Rarity and kissed her on the cheek. Despite the marshmallow-white color Rarity was, her face turned pale. Her face scrunched up into a nervous smile, as she looked back and forth between Spike and Rarity. Spike's face looked hurt and broken.

All stood in silence, until the stallion finally spoke up.

"So… Rarity… Who's this kid?" he asked, pointing over to him.

"My name's Spike, pleasure to meet ya." Spike spoke quietly, hiding his hurt expression under a faint smile.

"Name's Joe, wassup?" he asked.

"Oh you know… Just here to… Specially thank one of my _best buds_ on that party they threw for me last night…" Spike said quietly with a small, weak chuckle. The awkwardness nipped at the air.

"So, you guys are dating, huh?" Spike asked, raising a brow. Rarity was silent, her face filled with fear and guilt.

The stallion smiled brightly. "Yep! Been going strong for nearly a whole year now! It's been an awesome experience, I'll tell you what!" he exclaimed.

"Oh, I bet it has…!" Spike said weakly, scratching the back of his head, holding back the stinging feeling in his throat.

Rarity sighed outwardly, heavily and loudly.

"Spike, look, I just wanted to say-" Rarity began, but she was stopped by Spike putting his hand up to her face, signaling for her to stop.

"Trust me; nothing needs to be said here. Good day to you two; it's a beautiful one, enjoy it." Spike said with a big, fake smile, as he slung the bag over his back once more. With a wave, he turned, and his smile immediately dropped, as he felt the excitement in his heart.

What was different this time though, is that each time his heart thumped, it created a painful, burning sensation. He was angry! Furious, in fact! He was so close to Rarity, he did everything for her and with her, tried so hard every day to win her heart, dealing with her leading him on, and she'd been dating some average-joe for almost a whole year?!

"Behind my back?!" he said out-loud, with a furious yell. People watched him strangely as he walked by, attention aroused at the sudden outburst.

Spike's rage took a sharp turn, as he chuckled bitterly. "Behind who's back? She wasn't even yours, or even close, if she decided to just date secretly for so long. You can't feel betrayed." Spike thought, feeling tears well up in the corner of his eyes. He held them in; he was an adult now, he couldn't cry in public!

The encounter with Rainbow-Dash came back to him, as he chuckled bitterly again, laughing being the only thing keeping him from breaking down.

"I see… It all makes sense. She knew, she _fucking_ knew!" Spike thought furiously, tugging at the outward-growing scales upon his head in a fit of frustration.

Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie bumped into Spike.

"O-oh, I'm sorry!" Fluttershy said, backing away from Spike, who seemed to be a mixture of angry and hurt.

"Hey there Spike! What's got you all down?" Pinkie Pie asked, hopping around him.

"Nothing. I'm leaving." Spike said simply, swallowing as he tried to keep that lump in his throat down; if it came up any further, it'd force those tears right out.

"Aww, don't be like that Spike. If something's on your mind, you should tell us. Built-up frustration is unhealthy, you know." Fluttershy quietly said.

"Oh yeah, just like Rarity should've told me she's been fucking some gosh-damned average-joe stallion behind my back, huh?!" Spike said in another sudden outburst. Fluttershy winced at the vulgar language.

"Oh, you found out…?" Fluttershy said quietly. Spike looked at her oddly, slightly appalled.

"You didn't know, silly? Gosh, like almost half the town has seen her out on dates with 'ol Joey." Pinkie Pie said, her smile unfaltering.

"Are you… Are you fucking kidding me? Did nobody think to tell the _one person_ who has the biggest, most obvious fucking crush on her this whole time?! Did absolutely nobody think this would be important for Spike to know, before he, I dunno, finally builds up what puny courage he had to go get it crushed by some half-assed fucking stallion he's never met to just tell him, 'oh yeah, I've been fucking Rarity for almost a year now, haha!' or something?" Spike yelled, furiously, imitating a pelvic thrust and a goofy smile as he repeated the "fucking Rarity" bit.

"Did absolutely nobody think that?!" Spike said, feeling the hot tears roll down his face now, as he let his anger out. They both watched him, silent. Spike noticed that he gathered a curious crowd. He watched them all, not caring that his eyes were now red, and the tears rolled freely down red-hot cheeks.

"Really? Nobody? Oh, that's great! _Fucking_ wonderful! See you, and the whole fucking half of Ponyville that knew about this shit later!" he yelled, breathing a hot breath from his nostrils, which released a fair amount of black smoke. He stomped off, pushing his way through the crowd that surrounded them.

"Poor Spike… He must be really hurt." Fluttershy said sympathetically.

"Gosh, I hope he feels better! I think someone needs a party…!" Pinkie Pie said, rubbing her chin.

* * *

[ _Some time later, within the Dragon's residence_ ]

Spike sat upon his couch, refusing to turn on the television, deducing that not even entertainment would distract him at this point. Nothing could kill the headache in his head at the moment. He had crusted tears on his face, and was still emotional.

"I go through hell and high-waters for this woman, she can't even tell me that she's dating?! What the hell?!" Spike thought, clutching his head. It throbbed harder as he got more worked up.

"Years, I waited fucking years! I turned down _every fucking female_ that ever turned their eyes to me, for what? For this? For this bullshit?!" Spike thought in silent anger, holding his forehead and looking up to the ceiling as he felt tears threaten to fall again.

He heard knocking at the door. "Spike? Spike, open the door! It's Twilight!" the voice said.

Spike sat on the couch for several seconds, taking deep breaths, wiping his face up, and trying his best to calm himself. His chest still heaved in anger and heightened emotion, however.

He trudged over the door, and opened it. "Spike!" Twilight said, a concerned look on her face.

"Twilight." Spike responded, turning away to return to his spot on the couch nearby.

Twilight took a seat on another couch adjacent to it.

"Spike, talk to me. What's wrong? Everybody's running to me, telling me you caused an uproar in the streets today." Twilight said. "Did it have something to do with Rarity?" Twilight asked.

"Did you know? Did you know too, Twilight?" Spike asked, surprisingly calmly, his anger seeming to dissipate.

"Know what?" Twilight asked in genuine confusion.

"Rarity… She's been dating some stallion for nearly a whole year… Without me knowing…" Spike said, with a small sniffle.

"Oh my gosh! Spike, are you okay?" Twilight asked, immediately understanding where that'd lead.

"I'm… Absolutely chill." Spike said. He didn't want to outright cry in front of his closest friend; he was a male adult now, they were supposed to be tough.

"Spike…" Twilight said. Spike looked up. "I'm cool, Twi, really." He said, holding down the lump in his throat, and ignoring the pain of his throbbing head.

Twilight watched him with a worried and skeptical expression.

"Twilight, really, I'm fi-" Spike was interrupted by his voice croaking. Twilight trotted up to him, put her hoof around him, and pulled him into a hug.

"Twilight, I'm…!" Spike tried to deny it, but immediately stopped speaking, as he felt the tears roll again. He didn't want to have his voice crack from the crying. Even as an adult, Twilight was still his mother…

He sniffed, as Twilight patted her back. At first, he cried silently, but soon, the tears came heavier and heavier.

His lips started to quiver, and whimpers came. Spike slowly took his hands up, and hugged back, his hot tears dropping onto Twilight's back.

"Twilight I… I waited years! Saved myself for y-y-years!" Spike said, between sniffs and small whimpers.

Twilight patted his back comfortingly. "Shh, I know… Just let it out, bud." She said soothingly.

"I can't believe it, Twi… Everyone knew, _everyone_! I-I mean, sh-sh-she probably did too…!" Spike sniffed, feeling twitches in his face as he cried more, taking heavy sniffs.

"I just feel so… so hopeless and b-b-betrayed…!" Spike said, shoving his face into Twilight's mane, as he pulled her closer, crying more. Twilight winced slightly, as she felt his warm fluids pour onto her skin and mane, but nonetheless, fully accepted his embrace.

Twilight patted his back, and stood there, holding him gingerly, as a mother would console her child.

"Let it all out, Spike." She said lowly, as she let Spike cry and cry. She knew the boy was sensitive, and this was necessary, especially after feeling such betrayal and heartbreak.

[ _Several hours later_ ]

Both had fallen asleep. Spike fell asleep, due to exhaustion of crying, and Twilight fell asleep waiting for him to awake, wishing to not disturb his sleep, or leave him alone. Both lay in the couch, Spike breathing softly on top of Twilight, his face still in her mane.

Twilight eventually stirred, sitting up slightly. She accidentally woke Spike.

Spike sat up groggily, lifting his face from Twilight's mane. Bits of her hair stuck to his face, due to his crying and other released fluids.

Quietly, he climbed off of Twilight, and sat silently next to her, rubbing his face and eyes.

"You okay buddy?" Twilight asked. Spike shook his head side-to-side, slowly.

"I just need some time…" Spike said quietly.

"Time will do you well. Look, Spike, princess has gotta do princess things, are you fine with me leaving?" Twilight asked. Spike nodded quietly.

"Sure. Thanks a lot Twilight. You always come through for me. I really needed someone just then." Spike said.

"No problem Spike. Take it easy, there are plenty of great ponies out there." Twilight said on an ending note, leaving the house.

"None like Rarity though; none will ever be _perfect_ like her." Spike sighed, holding his head as he felt the throbbing of stress come back.

He felt his phone buzz. He picked it up off the centerpiece of the living room, which was a small, elegant table, a gift from Rarity herself, when he first moved in by himself.

The caller-ID read "Rarity" with hearts surrounding either side of it. "I 'oughta remind myself to edit that…" Spike mused. He stared at the phone for several seconds, debating on whether or not he should let it ring out.

"Fuck it; can't run from the inevitable, it always wins the race." Spike thought, clicking the green button.

"Spike, where've you been? I've been calling all day!" Rarity said, worry on her voice.

"Are you okay? Is anything wrong?" she asked. Spike grunted.

"I'm sorry, didn't realize you had a right to know about my endeavors and status." Spike said bitterly.

"Spikey-wikey, don't be like that!" she pleaded guiltily.

"Drop that cute nonsense Rarity. We're both adults now." He said harshly.

"Look, I know you're upset about the whole dating thing, I didn't realize you'd be so hurt by it! I held off on telling you because I thought this is what would happen!" Rarity said.

"You didn't realize I'd be so hurt? I'm sorry, was it not obvious enough that I had the biggest crush ever on you?" he asked, his voice rising a little bit in anger.

"I thought it would die soon! I mean, it had been years!" Rarity defended.

"Really? Oh yeah, I wonder why I turned down so many love interests in my life? God, it couldn't be any more obvious! I even told Sweetie Belle I turned her down for you! And what did you hope to accomplish by not telling me? How long were you planning on 'holding off' on telling me?" Spike interrogated.

"At first it was a week, then that became two weeks, then a month, then three months… I meant to tell you, I really did! Spike please, don't be like this! I know you're hurt, but can't we work past this? I never meant for it to be like this." Rarity pleaded, genuinely worried for their friendship. Spike was a great friend that she didn't want to lose.

Spike was silent for some time, before he took a long, drawn-out sigh.

"Fine. We _can_ work past this, and we can still be friends. I just need some time before we really talk again. Clear?" Spike said quietly.

"Clear. Thank you so much, Spikey-wikey!" she said in her usual tone, excited that things would go back to mostly-normal.

"Spike; just call me Spike, from now on." Spike corrected, still bitter with her.

"Right, Spike, sorry. Bye now, I've gotta run! Let's talk soon." Rarity said in a hurry, as Spike heard a click.

Spike put down the phone and groaned hard.

"Arrrggghh!" he groaned even louder.

"Getting over her is gonna be hard… I need something to do." He said. He looked out his window into the night. Rain pattered against his window, slowly picking up.

"Outside's not an option." He muttered. His eyes fell to the liquor collection brought to him by Applejack. He shrugged, walking over to it and picking up a bottle labelled "Sparkling Rum ~ Manehattan's finest." He shrugged, and popped it open, walking back to the couch.

"Anything to get my mind off her, and stop this pain in my chest." He thought. He picked up a remote, and flicked on the T.V at the end of the room, as cliché and boring comedies rolled.

He took a sip of the substance and winced. He had no idea how people downed this stuff! It was so harsh! He brought the bottle to his lips once more.

[ _Some minutes later…_ ]

Spike had acquired a taste for the alcoholic substance at this point. He was tipsy, and quite satisfied. He liked the stuff, because as he now realized, the intoxication drowned out the pain of Rarity's rejection.

Although, some things would never stop him from realizing reality…

That luscious mane; he would _likely_ never be able to run his hands through it, ever… Not that Rarity was, as he recently found, taken…

Those perfect lips; he would _likely_ never be able to feel them press against his own. The temptation their glossiness brought would probably never be able to be morally acted upon.

And her flank; well… he knew for a fact that he would _likely_ never find out anything about her's, which was a big shame.

Spike took another swig of the rum, wiping his mouth as the substance burned comfortingly in his chest. He reached into the red bag that was for Rarity and opened up the heart-shaped box of artificial chocolates and plucked one into his mouth.

The intoxication made him realize the hope that all of those were just probably-s. They could absolutely break up! It was against his moral code to help them along to that, but it was still fully possible! Although it was wrong, he secretly hoped that their relationship would meet tragedy.

He smiled, content with that hope, as he laid back in the couch, drifting off into a drunken sleep.

* * *

[ _Roughly 1 week after rejection…_ ]

Spike awoke from his drunken slumber, rolling off the couch. As he fell off, bottles clinged-and-clanged all around him. The house had several liquor bottles sprawled out all over the ground.

Spike groaned as he stood. Although he made up with Rarity, and was much more calm about the indirect rejection/betrayal, it didn't stop the fact that he was hurt. He found comfort through intoxication, though, and often found that when under the influence, he was either too busy shaking off the horrible feeling of drunkenness, or his emotions were too numbed by the liquor, to be hurt by thinking of his encounter and failure with Rarity.

He was happy that they made up though. Even though it hurt him to speak to her, knowing she couldn't be his, it was nice to rekindle the friendship.

However, hangover time was the worst, as he was completely vulnerable to the painful memories and reality, and he was double-teamed by the horrible feeling a hangover brought.

Spike walked up the stairs of his house, where his room – which went unused for the entire week – and bathroom were located. He went into the bathroom, and looked in the mirror. He had bags under his eyes, a product of the horrible sleep he got, due to being too busy thinking of what he couldn't do with Rarity at this point. His face looked stressed and tired, and he stank of liquor.

Rarity had quite the effect on him; he really never did much more than assist Twilight and pursue Rarity, and it's as if now, his whole life was just sit at home and do nothing now that Rarity slipped away from him.

He didn't even have the courage or energy to do something with himself anymore; he just stayed home, lived off of his royal paychecks, and sat down watching T.V, playing games, or when Rarity struck his mind too hard, drinking his sorrows away. He washed his face and brushed his teeth, which cleaned up his look slightly.

He heard a knock at the door. Groggily, he made his way downstairs, still on the effects of his hangover.

He opened it, and there was Twilight, standing there with a bright smile.

"Spike! How've you been, buddy?" Twilight said, walking in past the tired Spike.

She waved her hoof by her face. "Phooey! This whole place and you stinks of liquor Spike! You've been drinking?" Twilight asked, walking further in, as Spike silently closed the door, following her.

Twilight nearly tripped over a few bottles, and noticed the messiness of the house. Bottles were sprawled out everywhere.

"Um, Spike? Something you wanna tell me?' Twilight asked, as Spike plopped onto his couch.

Spike was quiet, as he picked up a half-empty bottle of liquor, and took a swig.

"So I drink? I'm of age now, I think I'll be fine." Spike said, covering a small burp as he excused himself.

Twilight watched him strangely. "Are you doing this because of Rarity? Because drowning your sorrows with intoxication never turns out well." Twilight warned.

He shrugged. "Works for me so far. Look, I'm an adult now Twilight, can we change this subject? I'm sure I'll handle myself, I'm fine." Spike said.

"No, Spike. Are you okay? These are _not_ the symptoms of a 'fine' person." Twilight asked, worriedly.

"I just need some time…" Spike said solemnly with a hint of sadness.

Nodding, Twilight began to strike up conversation, planning to spend the day with the dragon, as she knew he hadn't gotten out at all…

* * *

[ _Roughly 2 weeks after rejection…_ ]

Spike woke up, still slightly drunk from staying up late last night drinking. He slid his legs off the couch he fell asleep upon, which now had various stains upon it. The bags under his eyes had become more prominent, and his complexion began to pale, due to him staying inside for most of his days now; he only ever want outside to pick up food or buy some new brand of liquor, stronger than the last he had. He turned down any requests to hang out from everyone, including Twilight on accounts that he was "busy": he wasn't in the mood anymore.

He began to look gaunt, evidence of a lack of nutrition; he wasn't eating well. He took a swig from the bottle, not caring that he was on his hangover; he wanted to stay intoxicated now: it killed the pain.

Spike felt like a useless piece of meat when he realized what his life was: if it weren't for being smitten with Rarity, or Twilight needing his assistance, he really had nothing left in life. Now that things had actually calmed down around Equestria, and that Twilight's royal duties were at a standstill, this was his life: lazing around, moping over his loss of Rarity. As he realized this, his pains only worsened. He began to not care for himself anymore; he no longer ate properly, no longer showered regularly, and didn't care about cleaning anymore, evident from the messy house.

A knock at the door was heard. Spike took yet another swig from the bottle, as he walked to the door, guessing that there was only one person who still even remembered him at this point.

"Hey Twi…"Spike said lowly. Twilight rushed in, holding bags above her with her magic, noticing the mess and Spike's gaunt appearance.

"My goodness Spike! When Fluttershy said you looked like a mess at the market, I didn't think it was this bad!" Twilight stated, as her horn made a flash, temporarily blinding the both of them. As vision returned, the mess was magically cleaned.

"T-thanks…" Spike muttered. Twilight placed the bags upon the centerpiece of the living room, the small table.

"Spike, have you been eating at all? You look so thin!" Twilight said, eyeing him. "Eating is important you know? When's the last time you had a real meal?" Twilight interrogated.

Spike shrugged. "I dunno, I guess?" he said half-heartedly.

"You don't know? Goodness Spike! Look, I brought some stuff from the market, lemme whip up something real quick, hm?" Twilight suggested.

Spike shrugged, hopping onto his couch as he laid back. Putting the bottle to his lips as he took a large gulp. "Do what you want, Twilight, I'm not in the mood." Spike said in a distant manner.

Twilight watched him with extreme worry; he needed help… She trotted over to the kitchen, bringing the bags with her.

[ _Nearly two hours later of small chat and kitchen sounds._ ]

"Done Spike! I made us a deluxe omelet with a side of fried potatoes! Oh, and I brought some of your favorite gems, too!" Twilight chirped happily, bringing the plates to the living room, where Spike resided on his couch.

She set up two small tables, and placed his portion in front of him, as she placed herself beside him on the couch, placing her own portion. She set the plate of gems on the hand of the couch next to him.

As she took a bite, she noticed Spike take a swig from his bottle again, lazily poking at the food. By the time Twilight was halfway done, Spike had barely touched his meal.

"Spike, are you okay? This whole Rarity thing… It's having more of an effect on you than I thought it would…" Twilight said, now getting more concerned for his wellbeing.

Spike picked up his fork, and stabbed it into the omelet, as he picked up a gem and eyed it indifferently, not really feeling hungry. Twilight eyed his unwillingness to eat, and felt her heart sink; he was thin enough, he needed to eat something!

"I just need some time…" Spike said, as he put the gem back into the plate, looking at the blank television.

* * *

[ _Roughly 3 weeks after rejection…_ ]

Spike had awoken. His eyes were still baggy, and he looked gaunt as ever. However, a new light lit up in him. He finally decided that he would do something! The liquor and constant nights of intoxication and insomnia were getting to him, and he decided he would get Rarity out of his head.

"Yeah… Probably best I decide what I actually want to do with my life now. I don't wanna end up drying up like some dead shell." He said, picking up a nearly-empty bottle, and downing its content, as he wiped his crusty eyes; a product of crying last night.

"She and Twi _can't_ be my entire life! It's just impossible!" Spike thought, as he got up off the couch. He went and cleaned himself up, took a shower, ate, brushed his teeth, and actually looked half-decent for the first time in weeks.

"But what'll I do? I'm good at assisting, and Pinkie always needs help at Sugarcube Corner! Or maybe even AJ on the farm. Yeah, I'll start there." He thought, walking up to his door. He noticed that he was carrying a bottle with him.

"Public drinking… Probably not a good look." He thought out-loud, putting the bottle on his centerpiece as he walked back to the door.

As he opened the door, he saw Rarity standing there, an indecisive look on her face, her hoof up, as if she was ready to knock on the door. His heart thumped, as they both stared at each other in silence.

She looked as beautiful as ever. Glossy lips, girly fragrance, and the fair wind blew her luscious mane forward towards his face, bringing the scent ever-closer.

"You look as beautiful as ever." Spike said, in a small trance. As he stood there, feeling the blush creep up onto his cheeks, he face-palmed hard.

"Wait, I didn't mean that!" Spike said quickly, with a nervous chuckle, the red on his cheeks growing.

"Wait no, I mean, you do look pretty, I just meant that I didn't mean to-" Spike went on explaining himself, but Rarity shushed him.

"Right, I know what you meant, Spike." Rarity said, with a small giggle.

"Anyway, I came to give you this." Rarity said, pulling a card out of her bag with her magic. She put it in his hands.

Spike stared at the pink, sparkly, heart-covered card, his heart thumping in anticipation.

What was it? Did Rarity have a sudden change of heart, and finally begin to discover an unnoticed love for him at his absence? Was this finally his chance?

"Turn it over, dear." Rarity said, with a large smile. As Spike turned it over, a smile on his pale face, his expressions of hope and happiness died.

"You are hereby, cordially and formally invited to the marriage ceremony of Rarity and Joe!" is what the front of the card read.

"Isn't it great?" Rarity spoke up, clopping her hoofs together.

Spike stood silent, in his own world at the moment.

Marriage? What had happened in his days of seclusion? He found out just weeks ago that she was even dating, and now marriage?

"You're… getting married?" Spike trailed on slowly and dumbly.

"Yes! You see, I was nervous about doing the whole thing, since, you know, the whole situation with keeping it secret, but after all this time, I figured he was the one! He's handsome, self-sufficient, knows how to treat a lady, and is absolutely charming! So, on the day that will be our one year anniversary, we're getting married! I'm so ecstatic! I've been looking to settle down, you know, age will kick in soon, after all!" Rarity said with glee, her smile wide as ever.

Spike gritted his teeth, staring at the card, not even bothering to open it. He was conflicted.

"Aren't you happy for me, Spike?" Rarity asked with a large smile.

Spike licked his dry lips, and tried to moisturize the desert that had now become his mouth. It's as if the news entirely sucked the life and motivation out of him.

"Hehe… Yeah… I'm… I'm glad for you, Rarity." Spike said, feigning a smile, putting an awkward tension in the air.

"Anyway, you seem to have been busy lately. I was hoping you could make it to the ceremony in 5 days?" Rarity asked with hopefulness. "It would be such a shame for you to miss it!" Rarity said, with a drama-filled gasp, bringing her hoof to her forehead.

Spike stood there, digging his claws into the scales of his leg, pushing away the thoughts that plagued him. He was thinking, debating… He was conflicted; he grew up with the Princess of Friendship. He was supposed to be happy for his friends, so why couldn't he feel happy about this?

Well, the answer to that was obvious, but what would he do now? Express his feelings, or silently drown? He didn't want to make Rarity feel betrayed though…

"Um… I'll be able to make it, for sure!" Spike said with feigned excitement, looking up with a weak smile.

Rarity rushed up and brought her hooves around his neck, hugging him.

Her embrace was nearly enough to break him, as he smelled her fragrance and felt the fragile body that would officially never be his; Rarity could've sworn she felt something wet drip onto her back.

"I'm so glad! I can't wait to see you there! I even had a suit specially made for you!" Rarity said pulling away, handing him a plastic-protected suit, scaled to his size. Spike took it, staying silent. He feared that if he even began to speak, it would release that stress in his throat, initiating the waterworks.

"Talk to you later Spike! I can't wait to see you there!" she repeated, trotting away.

Spike closed the door, as he ran his claws over his head, feeling the hotness well up in his body.

Frustration, anger, and rekindled depression hit.

He stomped over to his couch and dragged his claw through its fabric, shredding it in anger. He then plopped into it, popped open yet another bottle of hard-rum, and took long, hard gulps, tossing the suit to the side and holding the card.

That luscious mane? That would _never_ be his to run his fingers through.

Those perfect lips? He would _never_ be able to even be morally allowed to think of them ever again!

And her flank? There was _no chance_ that he'd ever get the chance! I mean, if they're getting married, how many times has she been penetrated by that average-joe anyway?

Was this what he saved himself all these years for? To have his heart broken and dreams crushed? He shouldn't've been so naïve, nor so innocent!

Spike felt the hot tears drip down, as he took more gulps from the bottle, wanting intoxication to make him forget, even if it was just for a few hours.

He heard his phone ring, and looked at it. It was Twilight. As little as he wanted to talk, he refused to ignore the one person who was attempting to comfort him.

He answered. "Spike?" Twilight asked.

"Twilight?" he said in a raspy voice, as he took another large gulp from the bottle, the contents now being half-consumed.

"Look, Rarity is inviting everyone to something special, and I thought it would only make sense to forewarn you." Twilight said.

"To her marriage ceremony? I already know." Spike said in the raspy voice, as he sniffed, downing more of the bottle.

"Oh… I'll be over soon, okay?" Twilight asked. Spike was quiet, as he was busy chugging the bottle. He took it from his mouth, now empty. In a fit of uncontrolled rage and frustration, he took the bottle and threw it violently, as it smashed into his television screen, breaking it.

"Spike, are you okay?" Twilight asked, worried at how this might be affecting him, especially with the sound of smashed glass in the background.

"I just need some time…" Spike said, as he laid back in the couch, feeling the intoxication slowly comfort his pains.

* * *

[ _Roughly 4 weeks after rejection…_ ]

Spike was sitting on his couch, staring at the broken T.V, which he broke in his fit of idle frustration. His eyes looked decimated with insomnia, and he looked extremely thin.

Ever since the ceremony 3 days ago, he refused to eat. He barely even stayed for any after-ceremonies, and was so very close to voicing his objection moments before he watched them kiss. However, he decided that soon enough, **his opinions wouldn't matter**.

He figured that nothing about him mattered anymore: without Twilight needing assistance, or him running after Rarity, this was his life, after all. Not talking to anyone, no one talking to him. Just himself, his thoughts, and his pains, with the occasional mother that was Twilight checking up on him.

He looked into the broken reflection of himself in the television, and noticed how raggedy he looked.

He knew now, that life for him was probably not going anywhere. He woke up every morning literally feeling sick. He now consumed a dangerous amount of liquor per day, and was refusing calls from even Twilight now.

He was still on a horrible hangover, but nonetheless, he poisoned his body further, by taking a large gulp from the glass-bottle. As he stared at his broken reflection in the blank television screen, he talked to himself.

"Look at you; you're a useless fuck. You don't do anything, nobody talks to you much anymore, and you're a forgotten piece of the world. See how useless and dried up you are without Rarity anymore? Goodness, you're just a tiny blot in this world, insignificant to everybody's paths you crossed. Nobody even bothers to try and get you out the house anymore. Only a month, and you've been forgotten. How sad is that?" he said, mocking himself.

"It's alright though; soon, you really will be **just a memory**. Don't kid yourself again like last time, for life to knock you down again. Let's be honest and frank, there isn't _shit_ for you to do in life without Rarity, and Twilight is too busy to handle your bullshit anymore." He said, staring at his sunken eyes, pale complexion, and horrible bags.

He heard knocking at the door. Probably Twilight…

"Spike? Spike, it's Twilight!" he heard her speak. He was silent, simply taking more gulps from the long-necked bottle.

"Spike, I'm worried for you! You've been ignoring my calls, please, let me help!" Twilight said. Spike stayed silent, removing the bottle from his lips, as he felt the comforting, harsh burns in his chest from the substance.

"Spike, I'm gonna count to three, and if you don't let me in, I'm forcing myself in." Twilight said seriously.

Spike stood up from his couch, stumbling over to the door.

"One!" Twilight yelled.

Spike tripped over and fell, due to his intoxication. He got up again and stumbled over further, his hand on the knob.

"Two!" Twilight yelled again.

He struggled with the door a bit, finally swinging it open as Twilight yelled "Three!", charging in and knocking him over.

As she stood over him, she noticed his deplorable condition. He was living in dreg-like conditions, and looked horrible. He was unbelievably thin, his house was in shambles, broken glass littered the place, bottles were sprawled on the floor, and the house was dimly lit and dark…

"Okay Spike, this nonsensical behavior has gone on long enough, I'm getting you help!" Twilight declared.

Spike pushed himself away from her so that he'd be able to stand up.

"I don't need help. I'm an adult now, remember?" Spike said sourly.

"Spike, you can't keep living like this because of one person! She isn't your whole life, y'know! Now you're just acting the fool!" Twilight scolded.

"Hmmm, let me think… Over the years, what have I done? Accompanied you and the others, as well as chase after Rarity, can you name anything else, _anything_ that I've done besides that?!" Spike yelled, annoyed with her interpretation.

Twilight sat silent, thinking for a while. She stayed silent.

"Exactly! Look, don't worry about me Twilight, I'm a lost cause, someone not meant to be in life. As life has declared, I'm just some tool who's lost its usefulness. I think… I think I'd rather not stay in my shed and rust till I'm completely forgotten or dead." Spike said, as he picked up a bottle, and chugged it down halfway. Twilight winced at the mass amount of alcohol he just consumed.

"Whenever we're not adventuring, you've got Princess duties, Fluttershy has animal-caring, Applejack has the farm, Pinkie Pie has her Sugarcube Corner and party coordination, Rainbow-Dash has her Wonderbolt duties as well as weather maintenance, and Rarity has her boutique and that fucking average-joe." Spike fumed. "What do I have? _Jack-shit_!" he yelled in frustration.

"I hate to say it, but Rarity truly was my life. I think… Well, I think I've lost my calling in life, Twilight. I guess what I'm saying is, I'd rather not spend each of my days suffering in the dark of my home, thinking of her. I'd rather just… oh forget it, just leave, Twilight. I'd rather be alone right now, Rarity's marriage really fucked me up." Spike said, not caring for how he used his language anymore.

"Spike, I'm not leaving you… We can fix this, you can make something of yourself! Why don't we go find out what your calling is, or get you to do something, _anything_?" Twilight pleaded, outstretching her hoof to him.

"Forget it, not right now; I just need some time…" Spike said with despair, as he dismissed Twilight.

* * *

[ _Roughly 5 weeks after rejection…_ ]

Spike trudged through the streets of Ponyville. For the first time in ages, he was outside. It was early morning and still partially dark; the weather was misty and foggy, and small raindrops fell.

"Perfect weather for such a day." He thought bitterly, as he trudged on towards the Everfree Forest. He carried a bottle within his hand, and took a large swig from it.

"Nobody's called me in the last week, and Twilight seems too busy to visit me anymore… I'd say, this is perfect." Spike thought bitterly, as the few pedestrians on the street eyed him strangely, wondering what could be up with him.

Spike looked like a zombie. His eyes were tired and ravaged with insomnia, he looked ghastly-thin, as if he was starved, and he had scratches and scars all over his body, indicating that he had found a new pain to drown out the other.

He navigated through the Everfree Forest, and ended up at the chasm near the Castle of the Two Sisters.

"I'm not gonna live like some sad fucking sod anymore." Spike thought, as he stood over the chasm, his heartbeat thumping faster, as he felt fear.

"What are you scared of? Your life is over anyway." Spike thought.

"You're too sad to try and do something with yourself, it's been over a week since Twilight's visited, she hasn't called, and Rarity is too busy with that fucking husband of hers, probably off somewhere happily fucking in bliss, the lucky bastard. And you're doing what? Living out your days as this sad piece of shit? Not anymore." Spike thought, as he held one foot over the chasm, slowly leaning his weight over…

* * *

[ _At the young dragon's house…_ ]

Twilight had been knocking at Spike's door for some time now.

"Where could he be? He never leaves his house anymore." Twilight thought. Her thoughts ran back to the last time he talked to her, and she was worried that his lines hinted closely at self-harm or… something worse that she didn't want to think about…

The thoughts getting to her, Twilight frantically bashed down the door of Spike's house, and searched the house.

"Nowhere to be found!" Twilight cursed. She walked over shards of glass, bottles, and such, and looked on the centerpiece, finding a small piece of paper.

On it, was simply scribbled "Don't look for the useless carcass…" in sloppy handwriting.

Twilight's heart dropped into a deep pit of fear as she read that. Using her magic, she pulled out her phone, dialing Spike's number, as she flew through the streets, fast as ever, looking for the young boy.

"Hello?" Spike answered, with a low, quiet, scratchy voice.

"Spike, where are you?" Twilight asked frantically.

"You weren't home!" she said.

"Just out doing dragon things…" he said simply.

"Spike, this isn't funny, what are you doing? I found the note in your place." Twilight asked, worry on her voice.

"You'll be my only regret, when I do this Twilight. I'm sorry." Spike said solemnly.

"What? Spike, what are you sorry for? Spike, quit screwing around, where are you, are you okay?" Twilight asked, zooming through the skies. She had scoured the entire mass of Ponyville, but the mist made it hard to determine where he might've been. Unbeknownst to her though, the dragon was not even within the small settlement.

"I'm fine, Twilight… Or, I will be…" Spike began.

"I just need some time…" Spike said simply, as Twilight heard wind start rushing through the phone.

"Spike? Spike, what's that wind? Are you flying? Wait, you can't fly! Spike? Spike!?" Twilight yelled, hearing the wind in the phone become greater and greater. Suddenly, she heard a smash as the phone went dead-silent, the feed being cut off…

Twilight landed, not sure what to think… Her heart fell into a deep pit of fear and anxiety, refusing to accept what may have very well just happened.

Gruesome images rolled through her head, as she pieced it together…

" **Don't look for the useless carcass…** "

"I just need some time…" his words replayed in her head. And then, there was the rush of wind through the phone.

Did Spike…? N-no… He wouldn't, really…?

The words echoed over and over in Twilight's head.

"I just need some time…"

* * *

~Author's Note~ 

Yeah, I'm just a big bully. Anyways, this turned out quite different from how I first imagined it to be, and quickly went from E to M-Rated... I've left it at a oneshot for now, but if there are requests to continue it, then I shall. Anyways, hope you enjoyed this little story here.

PS: Yes, I know, I lied! But at least you'll all be getting new content every 7-10 days. This upload does not mean I've forgotten about The Third Duel, simply that I am a man of many ideas that he wishes to share.

Mega T22 out ^-^


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